When I’d finished writing my recent post about life in the office and I’d shut my laptop off, the conversation took a wild swerve away from the typically monotonous and headed towards the concept of love everlasting and soul mates. The office is mixed bunch of guys and girls and I all the people in there at the time agreed that they believe in such a concept. All except one… me.
Of course, for my opinions I was branded as a bitter, cold-hearted so-and-so, but it’s an opinion that I’ll stand by until I see some cast-iron fact that will back it up in any way, shape or form – something that very few people with whom I debate this point are actually able to produce.
"No, Billy-Bob was never my soul mate. You are."
I do believe in love. I do believe that there are people out there to whom you are suited and compatible. What I don’t believe is that there is one special human being out there in the vast, sprawling metropolis we call planet Earth that has been created just for you by a higher power and is your soul mate. Such a thing is just absurd. I also believe that the person they all describe (their current ’squeezes’ at the time) is no more their perfect match than any of the millions upon millions of people that they have not and will never meet. It seems to me some people need to project upon others their relationship as faultless and wonderful so they just might be able to believe it themselves.
Circumstance dictates current partners in a way.
Think about it. Lets say you’re an average guy of 40 who has had 6 serious relationships – the 5 that came first ended and you married the 6th. Why? Is the 6th person your soul mates or is it a simple case of her being the person that came along at the correct time when you felt marriage was a viable option? Would you have felt the same way about any of the girls that preceded her had they come in a different order?
I’m not sure.
What I do know for certain is that to say there is one person out there who is perfect for you is utterly ridiculous. It’s total mathematical certitude that there is an abundance of people on the planet who are more suitable for you than the person you are currently in relations with. That cannot be disputed yet as people we are so blinded to that fact by a belief in something we just simply want to believe is true. Maybe getting into my thirties has turned me from naive day-dreamer to hard-nosed cynic and there is a lot of truth to that. The thing is I do like the concept of romantic love and the notion of soul mates. It’s just a shame that I know it’s not true.
10 Comments
November 16, 2009 at 1:41 am
Bitter? Maybe not, but more likely acting clear headed and rationally. Love is not all that rational! I also believe that one can love more than one person in a lifetime and as we change we are attracted to different people. We’ve learned to appreciate different traits, we have changed ourselves…
Stick to your beliefs, as if you need me to tell you that !
November 16, 2009 at 5:09 pm
…and there is one result today in the FU2 Reality League Division One.
Daydreamers – nil : Hard-nosed Cynics – 1
November 16, 2009 at 8:18 pm
The score doesn’t tell the whole story – it was completely one-sided and could/should of been a white wash.
November 16, 2009 at 10:45 pm
I bet it was the ref’s fault!
“Who’s the bastard in the black!”
November 19, 2009 at 11:05 pm
How very psychic of me….
When viewed the day after Thierry Henry’s little bit of ball fondling.
November 21, 2009 at 8:49 am
What’s intimidating about finding another “soul mate” is that the available fish in the sea are not obvious. As they say, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince. You go on a date and discover the guy is a bore. The next guy is too arrogant. That can get tiring and discouraging.
November 22, 2009 at 6:43 pm
I can understand what you’re saying there, for me dating has got to be such a fucking chore that I’m starting to think I’m better off single, carrying around a picture of my right hand in my wallet.
November 22, 2009 at 9:33 pm
A photo of your right hand!
Ooh… you two-timing bitch!
That’s the last time I make a fist for you.
Men – they’re all bastards!
November 23, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Baby, you know I’m ambidexterous.
(Dude, I commend you for going with the name-change for humerous effect. True dedication)
November 23, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Hey… no worries.
If a thing is worth doing…, and all that shit.